Nathan & Gina

Cystic Fibrosis Research

2009-03-07T14:56:00.003-07:00

As many of you know this cause is personal to my family and I. In the spring of 2007 our lives changed forever with the first diagnosis of Cystic Fibrosis. Since then we have had two more children diagnosed with CF. We have learned lots about persistence. Now we are asking for your help.

Cystic fibrosis is a devastating genetic disease that affects children and young adults. Advances continue to be made in finding a cure, but your help is needed now - more than ever - to help keep up the momentum of this life-saving research. Too many young lives depend on this vital research to let it go unfunded!GREAT STRIDES is the Cystic Fibrosis (CF) Foundation's largest and most successful national fund-raising event. This year, my family and I are walking in the GREAT STRIDES event at the Tempe Kiwanis Park site on April 25. Please help us meet our fund-raising goal of $2, 500 by sponsoring "Team TAN".

You'll feel confident in knowing that your generous gift is used efficiently and effectively: nearly 90 cents out of every dollar you contribute goes directly toward supporting research and specialized care that improves the quality of life for those with CF. And, it's tax-deductible.Making a donation is easy and secure! Just click on the link below to make a donation to our fund-raising page where your donation will be credited to the team. Any amount you can donate is greatly appreciated!Donating to GREAT STRIDES is such a simple and effective way for you to show your support for this important cause. Together, we can make a difference in the lives of those with CF! Once again, thank you for supporting the mission of the CF Foundation!

http://www.cff.org/Great_Strides/GinaUpdike

10 Reasons Why My Life is Great

2009-01-27T10:58:00.007-07:00

Though things do not always go how I want them to, I think Life Is Great because:

I have a wonderful wife who works hard and loves her husband and her children.

I have Noelle, who's smile and laugh are so contagious, you can not look at her and not smile, even when she is hating her treatments.

I have Adam, though not easy to deal with at times, he keeps me young and makes me laugh.

I have Tenille who loves to be my cuddle bug.

I have Julianne, who is growing up so fast it scares me but she loves to serve, I love that she does SPG, ask her what that means.

I have great support from my in-laws, who raised their children and are willing to pack up everything they own and move to Mesa so they can help me with my kids.

I live in a great house, and on weekends I can open the back windows and doors and pick one of my girls and dance to great wedding music.

I have great neighbors, all of them help look out for us, and take care of us. When the City of Mesa was going to take me to trial for my child playing at his friends house I had so many offers of support of people who would call the city and testify, I knew I had nothing to worry about.

I am employed. I work for a great company that understands the demands that the health of my kids put on me and lets me work for them anyway.

I have my health, which helps me be able to take care of those around me.

I have my Faith, when things get bad and I feel alone, I know that I am not, and that I can get through anything.

Those are the reasons why my life is so great and I can not help but smile.

Getting Serious

2009-01-27T09:44:00.002-07:00

So there are a lot of things in life to take seriously, There are also a lot of things that I don't take seriously. New Years resolutions is one of them. See it is January 27th and I am just now talking about them outside of my head.
1. Find happy things in each day.
2. Be perfect in having weekly FHE
3. Find lessons for life in the scriptures
4. Monthly Temple Attendance
5. Run 1/2 Marathon
6. Finish 1 room per month

Lofty I know but I have plans. Nathan gave me a nice compact digital camera. I've been taking it with me most everywhere. In blogs to come You'll see the things that make me happy. I've also already made up a table of stuff that needs to be done around the house and I think as I get more organized I'll love my house as much as I love my neighborhood. Plus Nathan and I have registered for the 1/2 marathon already. Notice that the spiritual side of my goals are lacking in the planning phase. I've got to work harder to get this all in.

My Autumn Door Hanger

2008-11-20T12:16:00.007-07:00

Isn't it beautiful. I stole the idea from my friend's blog. It has actually been up for awhile but I just found my usb cord this week. I love autumn and I love to look at this pretty thing on my door. When I finished it, I hung it on the door and thought, who can I show this to right now.

She's Home

2008-11-20T11:51:00.004-07:00

We're so excited to have a our happy baby happy again. Noelle came home from the hospital at about 6:30 last night. Needless to say the kids all stayed up a little late because we all wanted to love on our baby and watch her as she was soo excited to be home again. Here are some pics of the last week. I'm so excited, it's to pack up and go home!
This is just one of the "yellow monsters" that has been terrorizing our baby. She got to the point where she would almost cry every time one came into the room, but even at this age my babies are strong. Noelle had 4 different IV's in 8 days & 17 sticks, plus her bronch and g-tube placement.
so happy even though she is in a crummy metal cage.
The kids checking out the new g-tube. This was Monday afternoon and Noelle was still feeling pretty tender. She was able to handle the pain with just Tylenol and Motrin though. Nothing we could do about her hunger pains. She had nothing to eat/drink for 32 hours.
Sunday afternoon we all went to the hospital and had dinner together. Here are the kids showing off there smiles. Noelle has an NG tube up her nose and taped to the right cheek.
We are glad to be home and settling back into a normal life. Thanks to all those who've helped with dinners and childcare. We love you all so much.

Our Newest Edition

2008-11-17T22:05:00.004-07:00

About 10:00 this morning we found a new edition to our family. Here is a photo of what has been implanted into Noelle's stomach. The bulb part is actually in her stomach, the valve sits on top of her skin and, starting tomorrow morning we will be feeding her through this port as well as regular feedings.

Additionally she had a bronchoscopy and bronchial lavage. The bronchoscopy was in response to somethings grown in her throat culture (Pseudomonas), the lavage was to wash her lungs down. The Pulmonologist who did the bronch. said her lungs looked "surprisingly good, all things considered. We saw pictures and I have to agree. Not nearly as much mucous in there as in Tenille's. Because she had pseudomonas on a throat culture she will be going home on IV antibiotics so they also placed a long term IV (PICC line) today. They are saying she will likely be on 2 antibiotics for 10 - 14 days, Tobramycin & Cefipime. Tobramycin is known for toxicity to the ears so she will be getting regular blood draws to monitor 'Tobra' levels. The good news is that these levels can be drawn off her PICC.

Housekeeping:

Some of my readers are medical and some are not if you are the not I want to educate you cuz I'm lazy in my writings.

G-tube stands for gastrostomy tube, named for the point of entry (gastric-Latin)

PICC stands for Peripherally Inserted Central Catheter so called because it is inserted in the arm and is threaded to nearly the heart, incorrect placement can cause abnormal heart rhythms.

WBC- white blood cell count

Ototoxicity- in medicine we combine prefixes and suffixes to make new words. Oto is Latin for ear, toxicity is level of toxic stuff.

PFT's - pulmonary function tests. CFer's live and die by their PFT's Tenille's usually running 80-85%, Adam is younger and less efficient at participating in the testing so his numbers are lower however this is most likely due to him not quite knowing how to follow the directions. Noelle has not been tested because to test in most children under 4 the child must be sedated and then put in a box which somehow measures her lung function. I'm not yet sold on the idea.

Abx is an abbreviation for antibiotics.

Short and to the Point.

2008-11-14T21:53:00.006-07:00

I've just spent the last 36 hours trapped in a hospital room doing nothing but watching tv and caring for my sick little one. Noelle had been sick for about 3-4 days when she started vomiting. Over twenty-four hours she progressed into dehydration and by 3 am Wednesday morning my husband was calling me at work to say she was dry. He brought her in to the ED and they promptly started a line and drew some labs, then bolused her with fluids. She took it like a champ, Nathan and I do not raise whimps. Then the blood hemolyzed and they had to stick my baby again. :( By the time they redrew, her labs were mostly normal but she still wasn't keeping things down and her WBC was high. They decided to admit her and at our insistence she got a bed at our favored PCH.

As things progressed she did get better as far as no vomiting, thanks to the IV fluids and IV Zofran. However once dehydration was out of the way we began to see some respiratory issues. Perhaps unfortunately for my DH he spent the first night with her and she became Apneic. That is to say that she began to occasionally stop breathing. One can imagine how frightening this would be. The hospitalists came in and immediately started her on O2, gave her IV decadron (to reduce swelling of her airway) and administered an inhaled version of epinephrin. She took two doses on the racimicepi (epinephrin), and began to settle down. Her airway remains compromised still and has forced the postponement of her g-tube placement.

So our baby Noelle currently rests in a crib that resembles a prison over at Phoenix Children's with a feeding tube shoved up her nose and down to her stomach, an IV on her foot, oxygen running through her nose at night and an oximeter on her big toe.

Can you believe that she is actually faring quite well when you compare her to other CF'ers? Over the last few days I have come to realize what a beautiful smile she has and how much I miss not seeing it. She is on the upswing now and I believe we will have a good weekend full of nearly toothless grins and wide crystal blue eyes, I bet her laugh will return too.

Thank you to our parents for the coverage they have provided over the last few days and the friends who've had our kids over to play. Currently the plan is to place her g-tube Monday AM and hopefully since she is now taking feedings through the NG tube her stay after the tube placement will be shorter.

Ashlland Photography Wins the Holy Stink Award

2008-11-05T22:01:00.006-07:00

The Family did pictures last Saturday and Adam was true to form! Head on over to www.ashllandblog.blogspot.com to see our beautiful kids online.

PS Tiffany & Janet did a fantastic job staying with us and capturing the moments of our crazy life. They made it fun and painless, both in the wallet as well as at the shoot. Check em out!

Mother Theresa

2008-11-05T19:09:00.009-07:00

I saw this quote today and thought it was profound.
" It is poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish. "
The truth is at first I didn't totally get it, how are the two associated I wondered. As I have thought about it through the day I've realized some things.
Poverty does not always refer to money. I wonder if in this quote Mother Theresa was possibly referring to the poverty of character or possibly of society as a whole, maybe she was referring to the richness in the lives of loving parents too.
I'll make no statements referring to those who have chosen abortion in the past but to say that a nation who permits the killing of it's young, promotes a culture of carelessness, an attitude of quiting when things are hard, and an acceptance of shirking responsibility.
All of my readers should know by now that I have three children with a fatal genetic disease. That being said my days are filled with fun, crazy, tender, happy, loving, picturesque moments. My family brings me from the depths of poverty, helping me to recognize the rich blessings my Father in Heaven has given me.

Schwatzenburg

2008-11-04T13:37:00.004-07:00

There's a game we occasionally play in our house. We call it Schwatzenburg. When we need to retreat we play it. The rules are a little different each time we play. This is our game:

Everyone speaks in a funny accent that can change at any moment.
There is a trigger word. When one player utters the word the rest of the players must follow up with a complimentary phrase. For example if the key word is "Father", when one person says "Father," the rest of the players follow it up with the key phrase of "Oh, How I love my Father, I really Do." Or if the word is "Trouble," When the word is spoken the rest of us follow up with, "Trouble? OOOHHHH! Notty, Notty." We change the keyword every time we play.

This game is great because there is very little to remember and it really works to change the mood in any given setting.

If you have need of retreat in your home try this one.

Really?

2008-11-03T15:33:00.003-07:00

while cruising the blogs this morning I saw a little button depicting a man taking off his shirt to reveal an undershirt that said Husband Hero. I thought "hmm I could get that for DH to help him remember that I do recognize all he does for me." I clicked it and guess what, they weren't selling t-shirts at all. It was an advertisement for an email reminder service. Pay 12 dollars a year to have this company send your DH reminders to be romantic and show his love to you. Ridiculous! Though I think if they had a similar service for wives I might pay the money.

Tribute

2008-10-31T09:59:00.001-07:00

Imagine: I stand on the stage, in front of the masses. In my two capable hands I clutch the newest honor to my name: The Holy-Stink You Are Amazing Award. FYI this trophy is a tasteful mix of fine metals and crystal, depicting a woman wearing scrubs and a gorgeous seatbelt bag which is overflowing with coloring books, bottles, fruit snacks, diapers, sippie cups, baby rattles, a clean pair of children's underwear and a thoroughly worn set of scriptures. She is bent over the bed of a young man with two broken arms hanging in an overhead trapeze and she is holding up his massive leg by the external fixator while the PA changes a dressing on this young dare devils leg.
Yes I have been awarded The Holy-Stink You are Amazing Award. Here is my acceptance speech.
Thank you so much, this means so much to me. There are so many people I need to thank, let me start at the top.
I'd like to thank my Father in Heaven. Yes the load is heavy, Yes I usually think you got this one wrong. However Father in Heaven I have a testimony of the truthfulness of the scriptures, I know thou makest no mistake. Thank you for showing me how far I can stretch.
Thank you to my husband. Ours is truly a relationship crippled by our human-ness, yet we are lifted by the same things. Thank you for your stubborn love for a stubborn woman. Thank you for being the man who works so hard to give me what I want. I measure myself in accomplishments and I know that I haven't gained anything but for the love and support you have given me.
Thank you to my mother and step-father. For knowing that I needed rescuing and saving me when I couldn't ask for it. My children love you, I love you, my husband loves you.
Thank you to Al Gore for inventing the Internet, thus enabling me to blog and write things I have such a hard time saying.
Thank you also to those who are following me through my blog. Last night I was at work and reading blogs. I was so excited to see that people are following me. To the person I've never met, it made my night to see that you were interested.
There are so many who have been left off the list, don't feel bad if you weren't mentioned, Know that I thank you also.

Direct Line

2008-10-12T18:57:00.001-07:00

I'm thankful. Thursday morning as I was going about various chores around the house a though occurred to me. I thought, "Hmm, I want some Swiss bread, I should order some, Nah that's silly, I am not going to eat my way through this." Less than a half hour later, my neighbor who has made a business out of making and selling Swiss bread, knocked on my door with four loaves of it!!! It was real experience. My neighbor probably doesn't read this blog and I'm sure had no real idea of my bad mood. I'm thankful for the link she maintains with our Father in Heaven and her sweet generosity. Our family thoroughly enjoyed the bread and had enough to share.

Perky blogging

2008-10-07T23:33:00.001-07:00

To those of you following us:
It's true I did not post last week and If I thought it was worth an apology I would but who are we kidding it's not so I won't. Also I apparently lost my usb cable so no new pictures for a while.

This week Julianne has been home sick with swollen tonsils and complaints of sore throat, head ache and stomach ache. I took her to the pediatrician today and they put her on some nasal spray because she was negative for strep. Here is the big shocker: The pediatrician who was a fill in actually read her chart before coming in the room. He knew she had been seen a few months ago for the same thing! It was truly impressive to see a general practitioner doing some advance prep work, soooo rare in the current environment.

This morning we also took Noelle to her CF appointment. Have I mentioned how much I hate these appointments? Some time I'll explain why. Anyway, today was her follow-up to the infamous feeding tube threat. Her weight gain over the last 2 weeks was only 4 grams/day again. If I was a cusser I would say some bad words but I'm not so I'll just say EEEEEFFFFF!!!

Yes I've been reading fiction like a fiend for the last several weeks and some the books throw around that word occasionally and I'm pissed so I used the substitute. Should I be ashamed? Probably.

On the book topic, I think I have now read most of Sophie Kinsella and may I just say I do love the English. Their vocabulary is Hilarious. ie... Isn't my seatbelt bag just fab? She is looking so posh in those suede boots. The kids had a huge row. Also in England a flashlight is an electric torch (tee hee hee) I do think I could live there but a man I met on a train said the taxes are horrendous & they still have a queen. It reminds me of 'evil King Noah'.

So back to the tube. I'm realizing that I have spent quite a measurable amount of time over the last tenth months being ticked about the whole third CF'er thing. I'm actually wondering how I'll get through it especially since the last thing I feel like doing is serving others or going to the temple. I think I should be the recipient of some service.

Just so you know I probably would feel really bad if you read this post and came to offer me service, so maybe that isn't such a great idea. But if a complete stranger came to me and said "this is the only winner in last weeks powerball drawing, it's worth loads of money and you look like you deserve some random goodness", yes I would take it and cash it and the list of people I would share with is short.

Oh yeah, the title of this post: Perky blogging
Me not so much today. When I told my sister about my blog she said something along the lines of, "I think a lot of that is false advertising, People only post the things that are happy and nice."

Well, eeeffff that. I'm convinced that if we all would share our sorrows a little more we might be able to help each other and actually be a resource for one another, but alas I am just a lowly . . .

One more thing to rant about, don't call me and say you think I/we should pray that . . . It drives me nuts and if that is your contribution to this just keep it. I am not an idiot and neither is my husband. If you're just thinking of it now, we are probably already doing it.

Okay I promise the next post will be upbeat and positive. No Ranting!!

The beginnings of our CF story

2008-10-06T12:00:00.001-07:00

From Left to Right: Adam (3), Noelle (6 mos), Julianne (9), Tenille (7)

Nathan & I are the parents of four children. Our three youngest children were born with CF.

CF is a genetic disease. Children who are born with CF simply had bad luck. Kids don't get CF because their parents did something wrong. They don't get it for any reason other than genetics.

If you don't know much about genetics, here is a brief explanation. The CF gene is made of four initial parts called alleals. Each parent contributes two alleals to the child. The simple explanation is that one alleal is dominant and one is recessive. Dominant alleals are just that. A dominant alleal manifests itself physically in the child, while the recessive alleal hides in the human DNA. So Mom/Dad could carry two dominant, two recessive, or one of each. During the development of the child (in utero) the child takes one alleal from each parent. Possible match-ups are: dominant/dominant, dominant/recessive, or recessive/recessive.

CF, you may have guessed, is recessive. So the child must take a recessive alleal from each parent in order for the disease to manifest.

The effects of CF are many. The manifestations abundant. Among other things, my kids have enlarged chest cavities to accommodate lungs that must work harder to get air. They have fingertips that are rounded like balls, an effort of the smallest blood vessels to provide what little oxygen is available to the tissues furthest from the heart. They are exceptionally smaller than their peers, a result of significantly less absorption of essential nutrients. They cough a deep moist cough year round because their lungs are not able to clear the thick mucus within.

I share with you my story of their diagnosis because, frankly I am still a little ticked about the experience. When Tenille, our second child was nearly four years old, I was enrolled in an online course of human pathophysiology. Pathophysiology is the study of how disease effects the body. I remember distinctly sitting in the corner seat of our black sectional couch early in the morning. My lap top sitting on my thighs, I was listening to a pre-recorded lecture on the gastro-intestinal system. As the instructor described the gastro-intestinal effects of CF, a small candle lit in the back of my brain, I thought, "This sounds like Tenille." I kept the thought to myself for a couple days, I didn't want to sound an unnecessary alarm. But alas, I cannot keep a secret from my husband. I confided in him my concerns. We discussed it, we both thought it was worth investigating but we had no insurance and so were reluctant to bring it up with our pediatrician. A diagnosis without insurance coverage would have put us in a financial crises. And so we waited a few months. While at work my husband googled Cystic Fibrosis one day. He came home and told me that CFer's don't live to be 20. In my mind this was further reason to tell myself that I was being a hypochondriac.

We finally got a private insurance policy and I took my four month old son and nearly four year old daughter to the pediatrician for their routine well checks. As the visit was winding down, I explained my concerns to the pediatrician.

Another moment I will never forget. I sit in one of two plastic chairs in the exam room, my son buckled into his car seat, sits at my feet. Tenille is on my lap. The pediatrician stands across the room half leaning against the wall, half leaning against the counter-top. She looks at my face as I talk. I finish by saying "I think we should have her tested for cystic fibrosis." The pediatrician has shoulder length blond hair, she is middle aged, maybe late 40's she is an NP so she is dressed rather modestly (financially speaking). She turns her head toward Tenille briefly, maybe 3 seconds, and looks back at me. She opens her mouth and the words travel the width of the room and slap me in the face. "I think she's fine."

Okay so maybe slap is the wrong adjective, it is more look a knock against my throat. I am now a crazy mother/nursing student who thinks her kid has some horrible disease she read about in class one day. I feel like an idiot.

This visit marks the beginning of the end of my relationship with physicians. I now feel "knee-high to a grasshopper" as my Husband would say. The next two years I jump from pediatrician to pediatrician, no longer having confidence in any of them.

One late winter day while visiting my parents in the mountains, the kids come in from playing in the snow. Tenille's teeth are chattering, she says in her scratchy voice, "I'm c-c-c-cold." My mother, saint that she is, draws a pot of warm water for her to put her hands in while she waits for the traditional hot chocolate and marshmallows. Pa stands next to my mom and the two of them set about making hot chocolate. Pa turns and notices Tenille's hands in the water. They are now the color of not-quite-ripe tomatoes. Pa, a retired physician himself, notes the appearance of her fingertips. They are more round than the rest of her fingers.

This manifestation is called "clubbing". Named after the appearance of the fingers, the widest part being the tips and narrowing as they extend to the hand. Pa tells me about the clubbed fingers. He tells me he thinks it is a respiratory issue, and he recommends that I take Tenille to a Pediatric Pulmonologist.

I am weeks away from graduating nursing school, I have accepted my first nursing job on the trauma floor of a local hospital, my insurance benefits kick in on my first day of work. We go see the pulmonologist. I recognize him from school. He was on the case of a patient I was taking care of at the local children's hospital. The patient was an 8 month old girl who basically was born with a blood filled sack in her throat, as she grew, it grew. The baby has had an emergency tracheostomy placed. She is doing quite well, though when she cries there is no sound because of the trach. I remember the pulmonologist because he was listening in on rounds of another patient, a twin boy born at 28 weeks, his case is so involved I can hardly keep up. Apparently one of the child's many abnormalities went untreated for a while, the pulmonologist upon hearing this said, "I thought that was the kind of thing we usually take care of around here." He also stands out in my memory because he bears an uncanny resemblance to Mike D'Antoni, the coach of the Phoenix Suns.

As my Husband, myself, and Tenille, sit across from this pulmonologist he grills us with questions. How long have here fingers looked like this, does she cough, whats her cough like, how often does she cough, What does she do for fun, what kind of sports does she do, does she tire easily, does she snore, does she cough at night, does the coughing wake her up, does she ever cough anything out, what does it look like, how much is it, when did we notice she started coughing, what kinds of treatments has she received from previous physicians, has she ever had pneumonia, has she ever been hospitalized, has she ever had a chest x-ray, how often does she poop, what are her poops like, do I ever see oil or mucus in them, do they have a strong odor, do they float in the toilet or do they sink? The questions go on an on. He addresses our family history. Among the many questions my mind is both answering him and thinking ahead of him. He wants to know how many of the major symptoms of CF she has. He asks us if anyone in our family history was ever diagnosed with CF. We say no.

Then I share with him my experience two years previous. As he listens to me, I search his face for any reaction. What does he think of the physician who blew me off. But, like any well trained physician, he has left emotion outside of the exam room. He hears our story and presents his plan.

At the end of the discussion, he says "if she does have cystic fibrosis all the other children will need to be tested as well. You should also seriously consider your family planning because life with one child with CF is hard, but life with two is really hard." He says this and I ache inside. I ache because I know my son's symptoms are almost the same. I ache because I am pregnant with our fourth child. I ache.

First, lets assess her lung functioning, we can tell by the results whether or not she has asthma. It is an easy test, we can do it right now in the office and have the results immediately. It is also conclusive, the results read one way it is not asthma, the other way and it is. I'm hoping for asthma. I think asthma is easy to manage, it's hardly life threatening. I realize there are parents of kids with asthma and the disease is a very big deal, but to me it is relative. Asthmatics graduate high school.

The result is in. No asthma, the knock against my throat has at once metamorphosed into a cannon ball smashing my guts down into my knees. My eyes burn hot with tears. I will not cry. I will leave my emotion outside of the exam room too.

Second, lets get a sweat test, it is noninvasive, cheap, and definitive. A Sweat chloride level greater than 60 is a positive result for cystic fibrosis. The test is scheduled for April 26th, 2007, the very next day. Results are ready after 24 hours. Tenille has not sweat enough. The test is repeated. Not until our third attempt is the result valid. Her score is in the mid to upper 100's.

I don't remember this number. Isn't that ironic. So many details are crystal clear. But the number has fallen out of my head. The pulmonologist called me at home. If you have ever imagined what it might feel like when the police or a doctor give you news that someone you love dearly has died, or is dying, it is just like that. He asks for me by name. I say, "this is she". His voice changes, I can feel him shift uncomfortably in his chair. I know before he speaks the second syllable. I know. I know that I have now entered the world of parents with children who have currently incurable, fatal diseases. It is back there, at the base of my skull. The black spider has begun to weave her web.

I fight gallantly. I do not cry. I summon the best of my strength and say, "Okay, what's the plan from here? I can almost here him thinking. He thinks to himself, "Uh, Okaaay, we are going to keep this clinical." He gives me instructions, we make plans and arrange appointments, the call ends. I set the phone down on the kitchen counter and walk, as normally as I can, back to my room. I lock the door. I go in to the closet, and slump to the floor, the tears flow.

But alas, I am the mother of a two year old, he comes looking for me, I put myself back together and fake for my son. I say stupid things hoping they will make me laugh, hoping that the tears will dry up.

I don't even remember telling my husband the news. I'm sure I called him at work, I'm sure he came home right away. I'm sure he came in the door called for me and embraced me while his tears flowed. But I don't remember any of it. I switched into clinical mode. I fell out only when the stress was high, and when no one could see me cry.

12

2008-10-06T11:05:00.001-07:00

12 things I love:
My Husband Nathan
My kids laugh
A good book
The thought of tomorrow
Getting my hair done
Creating things
Talking with fun people
My mom
Nap time
Good Books
My Seatbelt Bags
My Savior

12 Things I Hate:
Cystic Fibrosis
Bad Food
The word "can't"
Cleaning Bathrooms
Saying No
Bad Breath
Politics/Politicians
Lazy People/Nosey People/Greedy People
Drugs/Alcohol
Sour Kraut
Cats
Most Everything on TV

Uh Thanks, I think.

2008-09-26T20:00:00.000-07:00

Tenille gets A hair Cut.
Has this ever happened to you?
I'm sitting in the Hair Salon, waiting to see how Tenille's new A-line will look when one of the stylists comes over and starts chatting with me. I'm really not surprised by this because I had all the girls with me and frankly we are a stunning bunch. As we were talking I reveal to her that no I don't have all girls in fact I also have a son who is playing with a friend at the time. And here is what the stylist said to me, "Wow, you look really good for having four kids." Frankly I've heard this before but I have never felt it was a true compliment. To me its equivalent to saying, "Wow, if you would lose all your baby weight you would look really great."
This is not a compliment!!!
I don't mean to brag but apparently I have a pretty functional filter between my brain and my mouth. In this particular situation I would have said, if I were speaking to me, "Wow you are one hot mama." Who can see this is a back-handed compliment? No one, because it is not.
On the flip side of this post title:
I went to a friends house the other day because I couldn't reach her on the phone and I'm not exactly patient. You know I'm the "I want it and I want it now" girl, maybe that explains my kids behaviors. Any way I went to her house to ask her if her kids could come and play with my kids at my house. Adam barged his way in and my friend offered to let him stay at her house and play. Okay well I wanted to do something nice for you but it is true that Adam waits about as well as I do so hangin at the hair salon would probably be a fiasco. An hour later I went to pick him up and as we are saying our good byes, my son pukes all over me. I swear he showed no signs of illness all day so I was totally surprised. However, I wouldn't blame my friend if she too lays down in her bed tonight and says, "Ugh! Thanks Gina."

Should I Be Ashamed?

2008-09-25T14:23:00.000-07:00

I read all four of Stephenie Meyer's twilight books in 2 weeks time. I still don't know that I can tell you I loved them so much. Why did you like them?

Sometimes, well okay frankly a lot of the time I can't wait until my kids are all in school all day long. Wonder why, could it be things like the fact that my 3 year old is as we speak holding my mouth wide open and sticking a flashlight in my face? We're playing dentist.

If I have time to sit and think I sometimes find myself wondering what the Lord was thinking when he gave Nathan and I three CFers. Frankly, worldly as I am I'm not finding a lot of consolation in my Mansion in Heaven. Yes, I know the afflictions are but a moment, but still.

I Love to get presents so I started a new tradition in our house. It is called Thursday Present Day. I give someone in the Family a present just because its Thursday. I'm hoping it will catch on and they will give me presents too.

I wish I had more friends but have an insane complex that keeps me from being outgoing. So the other night I cried to my husband about it. Hello I'm 30 not 13.

Instead of buying songs off iTunes I search for fun compilations then download them from limewire for free. I have great workout music now.

It's true that I have bought little bags of lindor truffles and eaten the whole bag by myself. I can't believe I didn't even discover truffles until I was like 28.

I think my oldest child could be a model someday, but she is probably too thoughtful.

Before Tenille lost her front teeth sometimes I would catch myself just staring at her because her beauty was so stunning yet very unique.

I don't think there is anything wrong with having PapaJohns pizza once a week.

Pictures

2008-09-24T23:29:00.001-07:00

Through out the summer I've been chasing Adam
around the neighborhood. I heard he is actually
walking into peoples homes unannounced and
playing in their backyards.
Talk about irresponsible parenting!
So, we got a trampoline and now I don't feel so
bad when I say, "You have to play at our house."
Trampoline + Water = fun

No she doesn't have facial hair!
It's Noelle's first oreo.

Pictures?

2008-09-24T23:20:00.001-07:00

Goofing around on the lawn, this type of photo
always makes the best picture.

Tenille was being good to Julianne when she wasn't
feeling well. This is a noteworthy moment.

Nathan and Julianne stopped at the Grand canyon
last fall and Julianne couldn't stop talking about
it. So, crazy parents that we are, we went North
for our Family vacation.

Science Club!! While at Montezuma's castle the
kids completed the Junior Ranger Program.
Here they are being sworn in.

Adam loves trains, so we took the grand canyon
railroad this summer. The kids loved it. I could
not believe how slow trains move. No wonder
they invented cars and Airplanes.

You might think I'm computer savvy

2008-09-24T22:24:00.002-07:00

So I've had a few people say I should start blogging. Probably because I'm sooo good at communicating in other ways. HA HA HA.
This has been a heck of a week. Monday Julianne's teacher called me and said Julianne had hit a boy in her class. Turns out the boy forgot where his desk was and started getting into hers. She says she thought he was being a snoop and she was tired, so without thinking she swung her back pack at his head. Not good. Even worse she was carrying around a good sized rock in her bag. Still worse, she made the boy cry. And to top off Monday, she didn't forewarn me. So now her bed time is 7:30. No more tired in the AM and mom, the night owl, has more time to do whatever.
Tuesday Noelle had another CF visit. I totally hate taking her in but today's visit was tough. She is gaining weight at the rate of 11 grams per day, up from 4, two weeks ago, yeah. Of course two weeks ago she was sick and now she is doing quite well. The doctor came in, did the assessment said she looks good but needs to be gaining like 20-25 grams per day. They want to put in a feeding tube. I held it together in the office but I'm crying now. This means surgery for her and she is 9 months old and she'll have to be a patient in the hospital which sucks. I work in a very good hospital and I know that hospitals are terrible places for patients. The dietitian said we can give her two more weeks on her own but if she doesn't pick it up we're going to see a pediatric GI surgeon.
This morning Nate left for Washington State, and I have to say, I'm more envious of this trip than any other business trip he has taken. We've long been fantasizing over a move to Washington or Colorado. He says it's beautiful but cold.